loganamnosis

Chemo brain

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Chemo brain is the complete lack of cognitive function that sets in to just about every person who has chemotherapy.

It’s actually a medical diagnosis. Unlike most other diagnoses it’s name is simple and understandable, so that we who suffer from it actually stand a chance of remembering the word itself. Loganamnosis is, ironically enough, the term for forgetting words.

Doctors and researchers call chemo brain many things, such as cancer treatment-related cognitive impairment, cancer-therapy associated cognitive change, or post-chemotherapy cognitive impairment. Most define it as a decrease in mental “sharpness” – being unable to remember certain things and having trouble finishing tasks or learning new skills. (ACS)

Docs don’t really know why, but it can appear as early as 3-4 months before the patient has chemo and can last for a decade. Mine went crazy bad after the surgery.

You know how sometimes you’ll walk in to a room and forget why? Then you have to retrace your steps and you figure it out?

Chemo brain is getting up halfway and forgetting why you got up. Nothing around you gives any hint as to what you were doing. You might make it into the room that was your intended destination, but you’ll most certainly not have the faintest clue why.

Or starting on one sentence and forgetting what you just said. Not just the words, mind you, but the whole shebang. Your mind has absolutely no memory of whether you were talking about love, war, the weather or the Olympics. Worst case you start on one sentence and finish it about something completely different.

“Did you watch the news, in Syria it’s really bad, it’s -20C with three meters of snow and a nice Beaujolais would be nice with that for dinner”

Chemo brain means your entire life turns into a gazillion conundrums for the people around you.

But you’re not crazy – welcome to your life.

TBH I have no idea which day it is. I live through my cell phone. It has a calendar. Programming all appointments into it is second nature to me, I don’t have to think, I just have to double-check once or twice. Then I set the alarm – if it’s within the next fortnight, I set the alarm the day before just in case. If it’s weeks away – I’ll settle for an alarm on the first of that month, just to remind myself.

Just remember: there is no such thing as a ‘smart place’ to put anything, cos ‘smart places’ tend to be vortexes into some other dimension.

If you need to order a ticket or hotel, double check that you’re booking the right year, month, and correct departure station. Then get someone to control it for you.

And because reading and stuff is really difficult, here are some links in Norwegian:

Cellegift kan ramme hukommelsen
Tåkeleggingen er reell
Mia er alt annet enn A4

Loganamnosis

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LOGANAMNOSIS is the obsession with finding a specific word you’ve forgotten.

I keep learning all these fancy new words, every side effect I’ve experienced has a fancy medical term.

Unfortunately I forget most of these words before I’ve learned them because of chemo brain. Not getting any better and I’m not really expecting much progress for the next year or so.

But I am quite happy that this is also an actual thing. When half the words you want to say are “on the tip of your tongue” … I’ve become quite good at making up words and using sign language, but that doesn’t really help when you’re talking on the phone.

Or blogging. I’m writing and looking for a word, a specific word, but I can’t remember what it is neither in English nor Norwegian. I can’t even describe it in either language. I actually forget, whilst trying to find that darned word, what I meant to write – cos it’s all gone.

I even forgot about finishing this. It’s been sat as a draft since February 18th, 2018 – and my loganamnosis sure as shit isn’t getting any better…  but there years on, most people I surround myself with are so used to it that I can make noises and hand signals and they understand me perfectly. Sometimes they’ll laugh at me, mostly cos I laugh at myself, too.

Laughter sure as shit is still the best medicine, right?

Oh, and remember the lemons!!!

Soundtrack this month is Tear down the walls.

27 bands joined forces to pay tribute to Pink Floyd’s rock opera, The Wall, and raise money for Doctors Without Borders. The benefit compilation pays homage to the original album while giving it a modern feel and the rougher edge only industrial bands can successfully deliver. Several legends of the industrial music genre lent their talents to this project, but it also includes the up and coming bands of industrial music.

Spring is coming! I have made good with the ents!