lemons

The lemons

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Know your lemons, ladies, and men too.

I found a dimple in my right breast on my birthday, December 21st, 2016. It was suddenly there when I bent over to rinse my hair in the shower. It wasn’t there when I stood up. Bend over, a dimple, stand up straight, nothing.

So I started checking my breasts to see if I could find anything. I couldn’t.

Day one, nothing.

Day two, nothing.

Day three, nothing.

Day eight – a motherfucking mass, the size of a golf ball.

I called my doc.

Christmas holidays so no appointment until January. He sent me straight to the oncologist at Ahus and they found a solid mass, 5 cm across. A week later it had doubled in size. The guy who did the first biopsy said “this doesn’t look good” and I thought no shit, Sherlock.

So…

Even if you no longer like your tits, and think they’re droopy and not as perky as they used to be – know what they feel and look like cos it might save your life.

My right breast became a really lovely perky tit – a tumour the size of a 10 cm unripe orange will do that to you.

So – know your lemons. It’s a pretty awesome site, too.

Loganamnosis

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LOGANAMNOSIS is the obsession with finding a specific word you’ve forgotten.

I keep learning all these fancy new words, every side effect I’ve experienced has a fancy medical term.

Unfortunately I forget most of these words before I’ve learned them because of chemo brain. Not getting any better and I’m not really expecting much progress for the next year or so.

But I am quite happy that this is also an actual thing. When half the words you want to say are “on the tip of your tongue” … I’ve become quite good at making up words and using sign language, but that doesn’t really help when you’re talking on the phone.

Or blogging. I’m writing and looking for a word, a specific word, but I can’t remember what it is neither in English nor Norwegian. I can’t even describe it in either language. I actually forget, whilst trying to find that darned word, what I meant to write – cos it’s all gone.

I even forgot about finishing this. It’s been sat as a draft since February 18th, 2018 – and my loganamnosis sure as shit isn’t getting any better…  but there years on, most people I surround myself with are so used to it that I can make noises and hand signals and they understand me perfectly. Sometimes they’ll laugh at me, mostly cos I laugh at myself, too.

Laughter sure as shit is still the best medicine, right?

Oh, and remember the lemons!!!

Soundtrack this month is Tear down the walls.

27 bands joined forces to pay tribute to Pink Floyd’s rock opera, The Wall, and raise money for Doctors Without Borders. The benefit compilation pays homage to the original album while giving it a modern feel and the rougher edge only industrial bands can successfully deliver. Several legends of the industrial music genre lent their talents to this project, but it also includes the up and coming bands of industrial music.

Spring is coming! I have made good with the ents!